My journey through self-therapy to mend my broken mind. The Beginning.

 Heelo ^-^

I am the many of nu and this is my journey through self-therapy to mend my broken mind.

I guess I have always been breakable? There has always been something wrong with me? Maybe I never learned to be kind to myself? Sounds more depressing than it actually is, I assure you :p

Something happened during my twenties. I let another person stab me where I was vulnerable and now I am scarred for this. This scar in my mind forces me to jump to painful conclusions. I will look at people and interpret that they think I should not be allowed to exist, that I am useless. I often get anxious for not getting things done in a blink of an eye. This anxiety, I have come to understand, is learned. Learned from being repeatedly told during my early adulthood that I was unwanted, had no value, was useless and lazy, if I did not achieve things within a given schedule. No matter how Ludacris this schedule was.

I want to believe in a world were every person born has value. I want to end this suffering. So I will. By fixing what is broken in me and in anyone else I can. Fuck the suffering \,,/

Now that the cat is out of the bag and on the table, we need a plan to feed it and teach it some manners. As much as you can teach a cat anyway. I like cats. I am very distractible person and my mind is all over the place. Maybe we get back to the plan thingie? 

DBT, or Dialectic Behavioral Therapy is the name of the plan. I have had some success, actually great success, with it in treating my fear attacks. And that was when I was learning DBT from some random youtube videos. With proper sources its going to be DBT on steroids! So, what I have already gone and done, is gotten myself this book (ISBN:1462516998), which is apparently meant for people who are learning to give therapy to patients by using DBT. RTFM, right? I have taught myself stuff in the past, so therefore I can teach myself to give therapy to myself, right? That is the working theory at least. 

And that is what this blog will be about. About how I understood the DBT, what I tried, what modifications I made, what worked and how I fixed my broken mind.

Comments

  1. Sophia27 November 2021 at 10:13

    Of the people I have met through Twitch, you are one of people I respect the most. You have always been friendly and easy to talk with, and I admire your intelligence and the obvious hard work you put into your education! I am looking forward to reading of your progress and what you learn. Good luck, lovely person. -- ElaraSophia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 12ofnu12 December 2021 at 11:12

      Thank you so much for cheering me on Elara <3. I'm sorry for the delayed reply.. I had (well still have, but I can't leave you hanging XD) huge trouble figuring out how to respond to such huge words ^^; I hope you will gain something out of by writings!

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